Mom and dad, all your kids want... Is you...

 

Things that are important to girls these days:

1. Getting money

2. Getting clothes

3. Getting their hair done

4. Getting their nails done

5. Getting cell phones

6. Getting extra money to go to the mall and shopping

7. Having the freedom to go out to parties, clubs, and friends houses

8. Having the freedom to download movies, music, and use the internet

9. Having the freedom to talk on the phone and on facebook, twitter, and other chat rooms and other social networks

10. Having friends and dating boys

 

Things that are important to boys these days:

1. Getting money

2. Getting clothes

3. Getting their hair cut

4. Getting video games

5. Getting cell phones

6. Getting extra money to go to the mall and shopping

7. Having the freedom to go out to parties, clubs, and friends houses

8. Having the freedom to download movies, music, and use the internet

9. Having the freedom to talk on the phone and on facebook, twitter, and other chat rooms and other social networks

10. Having friends and dating girls

 

  

Now all of those things are nice, and typical for kids to desire, especially teenagers. But do you notice how none of those things on the list mentioned anything about spending time with their parents? Spending time with their parents isn’t there because family time has become something that no one even cares to include in the house anymore. Back in the day, we had block captains, surprise parties, block parties, fish fry’s, I mean you name it, we had it. Now, everyone is so caught up with the trends of the times to where those ole time family values of togetherness has seemed to fade completely away.

 

There wasn’t all this violence. There wasn’t the need to watch your back like you have to watch your back now. The problem, I believe, is that children are growing up angry. Angry because they wanted attention, and never got it. Can you imagine bond that a child develops, after being born inside his or her mother, and live inside of his or her mother, for more than 240 days, and 5760 hours? Can you imagine the bond that a child has developed with their mother? There is a reason why a mother and child started out connected.

You would think that the connection would continue all throughout life, but unfortunately, for many children, that bond and connection ends, the same day that the umbilical cord connection is split. For many children, this is devastating. In many cases, the connection isn’t really cut, but the attention that the many parents once shown, has decreased. Many parents give attention at first, because they love their child, but also because the child needs them, and the more independent the child becomes, the less attention many parents give to their children, in many cases unknowingly. Many parents think that their doing a good job by buying their child things, and they are, because kids love to get things and many kids do deserve them.

 

But there are some kids who get everything that they could ever want and ask for, and are very very disrespectful to their mother and father. And the question that many parents have for those children is, why??? The answer varies, but the answer that I recommend is, time… I believe that if more parents spend some quality time with their child, whether it be, going to the movies, out to eat, watching a movie from home or wherever else and whatever else you come up with, I recommend doing that, because what many parents are unaware of, is that the bulk of their child’s personality is supposed to come from their parents. When children turn out bad, it’s not always because the child has bad parents, in many cases, the only problem, is the lack of the parent spending quality time with their child. Therefore, by the child spending so much time everywhere else, the child is more open to learn what’s around them. They become whatever their environment is. Around my neighborhood, there are always little boys and girls hanging outside by themselves with no supervision. Especially during the summertime. Some of them can’t be any more than 7 years old. Maybe you as a parent don’t listen to rap music with cursing in it, but little John John and little Kyra’s mother and father does, and because you’ve been allowing your son or daughter to spend time down the street with their friends, now they are able to be influenced by what they are around. Kids can’t help it. They soak things up like sponges. And because of this, now they are more open to growing up and using profanity all because they are around it. That’s why having family time is important, because during dinner or before or after a movie or a game, you can talk with your child about your expectations of them.

 

 

Family time, is that time when you teach them what to do, and what not to do. And if there is a child in the neighborhood that you as a parent don’t feel comfortable with your child hanging out with, you have that right not to allow your child to hang with them. Keep and mind, and always remember this? You are their parent, not their friend. You have to maintain a certain level of respect, because if your child views you as their friend, they will respect you like a friend and not an authority figure. God made you their parent, to have authority over them, to protect them. You are to make the best decisions for your child, because they don’t know how to make good decisions for themselves. We have certain laws in this world, to be a boundary for us, so that we don’t go over our limit and hurt ourselves. There are alcohol limits, speed limits, age limits for drinking, smoking, clubs, and to drive. Those laws were put in place, to protect. Those laws are similar to a parent. Without them, children would be dying every day and possibly every minute. Parents, you are so valuable, and so important. Whether you are a coupled parent team or a single mother or father. You are valuable. Just look around you?

 

The children of this world in 2011 are hurting. They have all this stuff, but no mom and dad. That timeline that I share earlier was true, based upon a baby’s 8 month stay in their mother’s stomach which is if I’m not mistaken, 5760 hour in total rounding out to 240 days. That’s a lot of time to spend with your mom. And to have all that time, on top of 3 to 5 years of spending time with them, teaching them how to talk, walk, and write. When a child turns 5, that’s when they start going to school and they began learning things from their new environments. I encourage all the parents who read this, to spend as much time as you can, and to teach your child what’s best for them. I disagree with the philosophy that some parents have, saying that they want their child to experience things on their own. So they allow their child to make all kinds of mistakes like getting pregnant before marriage, date people and never meet the person their child is dating, they allow their child to hang outside and don’t question where they are going and some parents allow their child to listen to and watch whatever their child wants to listen to and watch. Maybe you’re the type of parent who curse and watch things on television that has profanity and things like that, and you feel that you’d be being a hypocrite to tell your kids not to watch and listen to those things.

 

Hey, I understand where you’re coming from. If you feel that it isn’t good for them, I suggest that you try not to listen too, or watch those things around them so that you can be a role model to them Because really, what you’re saying, is that you don’t feel that you are a good enough role model for them. But I believe in you, because if you’ve read this up to this point, that means that you are open to change for the sake of your child. Your child needs you, and if you really love your child, I know you will do whatever it takes to help your child be the best that they can be. Just because you watch and listen to something that isn’t good for your child, that doesn’t mean that you should approve of them getting tangled in it as well. If your child caught you killing someone, would you want them following in your footsteps? Of course not… If you had a drinking or smoking problem, would you want your children to follow that? No. If you teach your child young, the do’s and the don’ts, I’m a living witness, it will stick with them. My mom and dad taught me when I was about 5, they taught me not to use profanity. They kept repeating the same thing over and over and over, whenever they thought about it or when they felt to remind me. One time I cursed because I heard it on a movie. (I said the word that means a donkey) Jacka** And my mom washed my mouth out with soap and water right away. I tried to explain but she disciplined me, and that’s what I needed. What she was preparing me for, was this evil and lawless world. She prepared me for the different environments that she know I would one day have to be around and face, and because of that discipline, I can be around others and not become like them, but instead I am who I am based upon what I’ve been taught. Kids don’t do bad things because they want to be bad. In many cases kids do bad things because they want to fit in and not look like the odd ball.

 

What this is really called is “LOW SELF ESTEEM”. It takes boldness to standout and do or behave in a way that no one else is behaving. And many times, kids who don’t curse and do what other kids do, are singled out and teased. And because kids, boys especially, because kids know that other kids will single them out for not participating in behaving bad, many good kids turn bad to keep from being picked on. I tried to curse, but because of what I was taught, it never sounded right coming from me. So I decided to just not curse at all. To curse just to be accepted is just stupid. Some kids believe that cursing is going to put them in hell. And even though they believe that, they still do it anyway all because it’s popular to do. All you’re really doing is adding unnecessary words to a sentence for no reason. A lot more females are cursing these days too, and it looks terrible to see a female cursing, but somewhere inside of them, is insecurity, because when you love who you are, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. And the only way that these children can love themselves, is by their parents loving them. And by their parents loving them, and teaching young boys to hold the door open for women and older people, teaching them to respect adults, teaching them to do chores so that they can earn things that we give them rather than just giving things to them without them earning them, then their children will have better self esteem.

 

All children want to feel important. So by the parent showing their child how important they are, this will build the child's self esteem, because no opinion is more important, that the opinion of the parent. But if the parent isn't saying anything, or if the parent is just always neh=gative and full of put downs all the time, this is how childen develop a low self worth and a low self estee. We as parents are to chastise, but most importantly, we are to build up. Why tare down your own child? Would you tare down your own business building? No. So why tare down your child with put downs. Some parents put their children down because they are mad at they child's mother or father who isn't in their child's life. But that's no reason to put your child down. Our children need us if they are going to be their best in life.

 

KEYS TO HELPING YOUR CHILD BE THEIR BEST:

 

When your child does something good, tell them? And don’t wait to tell them later because you may forget to tell them. Encourage your child as much as possible. Always start out by telling your child something positive before you tell them the negative. There are so many things that are already in place to discourage them, so you have to be the one to encourage them. I’m not saying don’t correct them, I’m just saying be balanced. My dad got to a place to where, because his dad put him down so much as a child, my dad didn’t and to this day, still don’t fully know how to express love or encouragement to his now grown up children. You can tell that he feels funny just saying thank you. Maybe you didn’t get much love growing up, we want you to know that we love you mom and dad. If you need to reach us about something personal, you can leave us a message in the feedback section under contact us, or leave us an email. Your messages are just between you and us, and are private. We choose to break that cycle of not expressing love. Both myself and my girlfriend love to express love to kids, and adults. We all need to just hear the words “I love you sometimes”. But when you’re not used to hearing it, it’s easy to feel like the entire world has rejected you. The biggest and most devastating rejection a person can feel, is usually always from the home.

 

WHAT WE NEED IN THE HOME:

The most important thing that’s needed in the home, is communication. Communication where everyone talks and is heard. Communication as a whole with the entire family together, and also individual time with one another, to create personal bonds with each other. These are all things that we used to do back in the day, and we need to bring it back, because this is what used to work, so why change it? A child shouldn’t have to rely on things and friends to be there for them more than their parents and family. Children wasn’t born with friends, teachers, things, they were born with a family. We need love in the home. Saying the word I love you may sound like no big deal, but it really is a big deal. Because if you as a parent, don’t express and say “I love you to your child”, whoever they hear it from, will be the one who installs their version of love into your child. And if the type of love installed into your child is evil, or just sexual, that love download can and will corrupt your child’s system and may even give your child an std virus. That’s why it’s so important for your child to learn everything, and I mean ‘EVERYTHING” FROM THEIR PARENT’S FIRST… Because your child respect you automatically from the beginning. They lose respect when you push them away. No matter what you’ve been through, you owe it to God, and to your child, to give your child the love that they won’t find anywhere else, because if they don’t learn love from you, trust me, they will look for it, find it, and learn it from somewhere else, even if it’s not the right love. You love is worth more to your children that things. Children will grow up and forget about the stuff you bought them, but they will never ever forget that time you spent with them. Just ask them what they want, they’ll tell you. Be patient with them. Remember, you were a child too. Let’s stop giving them stuff as an attempt to take the place of the time we don’t spend with our children. Let’s give them us as an attempt to take the place of everything that our children will come in contact with, so that our children will imitate the good qualities of us and our expectations, and not imitate the negativity of the world. Our children are to know that they are beautiful, not because of what someone else says mothers and fathers, but because of what we, their mothers and fathers say. If we step up, our children’s pees won’t be able to dictate to our children what’s acceptable for or children and what’s not acceptable.

 

We, parents, are the anchor for our children’s self esteem to be grounded in confidence.

We, parents, are the pillar for our children to hold on too when bad children try to pull them down to their level.

We, parents, are the safe place for our children to run to when they’ve been tampered with

We, parents, are our child’s listening ear what they want to tell us something that’s on their minds

We, parents, are our child’s twin, only we’ve come in the form of their parent.

We, parents, are our child’s greatest example, all other examples must come to us for permission

We, parents, have the authority to determine our child’s future outcome

We, parents, must encourage our children to be better than us

We, parents, have the power to raise a genius, despite what we haven’t accomplished

We, parents, are special, and we are to be honored by our children

We, parents, are to lead our children, not let them lead us because we will get lost

We, parents, are who God created us to be, because we are fit to be, just who we are, “PARENTS”.

 

We want our children to walk in integrity, hope, and peace. They can… I promise you, if we, together, follow these steps in this blog, our children, and other children around us,  will be the best that they can be, because many children will learn to be a better child because our children are showing confidence in just being who they are. People love to follow people who are confident. And by our children developing confidence through us, they won’t grow up, crippled because of the things they went through while being young, but instead they will use each experience they had, and help others who suffer. Our children are going to go through things no matter what, but the way they deal with those things will be based on what we teach them… The first step, is just giving them love. The way we give them love, is by giving them us…

 

 

Before there was ever the mp3 player, hair on their little heads, before the games and music ring tones, before they wore sneakers and clothes, before they knew what jewelry, television, and money to go shopping with was, they knew us. Do you hear me fathers and mothers? Let’s go back to the way things started… Just like the 240 days and 5760 hours they spent in their mother’s stomach.

You can do it!!! I know you can!!!

For your children, you can do it!!!

God bless you and your children always…

 Love,

"Jonathan" & "Sophia:

 

© Copyright 2011 Hair nails and makeup. All rights reserved.